7 posts tagged “love”

This is a cross-post from a Facebook I had read via one of my friends. Below is a post (and response) from a craigslist user in search of her 'perfect man.'

From Craigslist.org:

What am I doing wrong?

“Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think
I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front
about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.”

The response: 

“Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense
to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case
you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.”

I've always loved meeting new people. Lately though, I've realized that a lot of the people I meet (mainly girls) just aren't comfortable in their own skin. I sometimes hang out with a bunch of friends who jokingly like to call themselves the "jetset mafia" -- a collection of 20-something single and successful girls living in Washington D.C.. All of the girls are intelligent, gorgeous, and the kind of person any guy should be pleased to take home and later introduce to their parents.

You'd think that in this bunch of ridiculously smart, glamorous, and attractive girls that there would be at least one that just lets it all hang out and doesn't worry about "how things might look" to people on the outside.

Some fly in and out of relationships left and right always wondering where each went wrong, and what they can do to grow from the experience.

I think part of the reason these girls relationships don't last lies in the way some girls approach the whole dating process altogether. I don't know if it's just my friends, but I notice they morph into these people I don't know (e.g. -- "girl-zillas") when they decide to get together with a guy. They pretend to take on the guys interests (even if they're not interested in the same things themselves) and play at being these people they just aren't.

At the crux of every chick flick ever made is the idea that you just can't start and continue a successful relationship based on a lie.

I'm the kind of girl that can't hide the fact that I don't know what's going on at most sports games ending in '-ball.' But, the saving grace about me is that I get into games when I'm with people that love it enough to teach me about them. I fell in love with and learned about baseball because I chose to go to one game with some people while I was in Japan. Before then, I knew nothing about how it was played and didn't actually have much of a love for it. Now, I go to Nats games here in the U.S. with friends and am even a little sad that the season actually ends.

I don't think that you always have to have a ton of things in common with guys to 'work it out,' but I do think that you at least have to open your mind to them. Be honest with them, and with yourself. Don't tell a guy you like tofurkey and animals if you don't -- you'll just be miserable keeping up the charade and end up resenting him and yourself.

Let someone fall in love with who you really are; chances are, that person is much cooler than the one you're pretending to be.

When I was a young(er) girl, I had dreamt of dashing guys making passionate love to me on a sandy beach... Yeah, right! But on a continued ridiculous note, I almost did dream of someone riding in on a white horse and carrying me away, and I think this 'fantasy' is what most girls dream of too.

Young girls (and even some women) dream of the guys that sweep you off of your feet -- that one guy that jumps through most all the hoops to make you happy. But for me that guy never came. What I got instead were a bunch of long drawn-out relationships involving emotional highs and lows riddled with drama that leaving me absolutely miserable. I just needed to grow up.

What I realized, after tons of loving and losing (and believe me -- I seriously did do a ton of it), was that I just needed to believe in my own happiness. I'd like to believe that this is what differentiates the women from the girls. Women are happy people that are just looking for another happy person to join the ride, while girls still search for happiness in another person.

Maybe it's the utterly hopeless romantic in me typing, but I believe good relationships are as rare and precious as diamonds. I've always believed that even though they might not always work out, they still have some value. Treasure the time you have with someone, treat them and every day you have together, as if it were the last.

Lately, I've been on a serious binge to start saving for graduate school and finding scholarships/funding for schools that I'd like to attend overseas, but so far the search has yielded few results.

I've finally decided after changing my mind time and time again, that when I go to graduate school in a few years I'd like some type of management related degree like an MBA or nursing management. While I enjoy bedside practice, I don't think that it's something I really want to do for the rest of my life, but I'd still like to move up in the nursing world in other ways. Maybe it's my mom's influence in me, but somehow crunching the numbers behind an intensive care unit interests me more than intubating and suspending animation on someone in an operating room as a nurse anesthestist.

Part of the thing that scares me about graduate school is that I'll be going alone. Matt, who is my second nearest and dearest (and whom I've toughed out most of my college years with), is applying for anesthesia school soon and depending on how things go with him, we'll be parting ways to endeavor on our own separate nursing journeys. The scariest part isn't the actual separation itself -- but the fact that I'm losing the support of a good friend that could relate to the nursing experiences I was going through.

Nursing school hadn't seemed so intimidating at the start. To be honest, I didn't really want to be there and felt a certain snobbery against the other nursing students along the lines of, "Ugh, damn I can't believe I dropped mechanical engineering for this crap. I just want to go to med school; I bet these girls are nothing but ditzes." I think after a few years of sobering nursing experiences and realizing that the program itself (one of the top 50 in the United States) was not as easy as once expected, I started to take it more seriously. It was at that point that I also realized I didn't want to lose what I had worked for years to achieve -- when the classes got tougher, I started to see that my intelligence alone wasn't going to get me through university, but that it was going to need harder work as well.

I can't tell you how many times I cried from sheer frustration during my third year of undergrad. In retrospect, there aren't many memories from that period of time that are good ones. It so happened that two of my other roommates during that time were also having trouble with school so I had people I could relate and commiserate with. Matt was always balancing nursing school with his paramedic classes, two jobs, and volunteering -- while he couldn't really 'commiserate' with my particular situation, he always offered a shoulder to lean on about all of it. After several scares (with psychiatric/mental health, and pediatric nursing classes), I made it out of my junior year barely alive and wondering whether I wanted to be a nurse at all. The negative academic experiences I'd had that year really made me question whether I was cut out for medical/graduate school, or even nursing at all. The first positive experience I really had with nursing was getting my first job at the hospital in the intensive care unit that I currently work in now.

It was because of the great guidance of my nurse manager and the nurses on my unit that I even continued nursing school. They showed me an array of experiences from the good to bad and instilled in me an actual love for the practice of nursing and not just the task itself. It's for this reason that I remain so loyal to that unit and part of the reason I cherish it the way I do (as sappy as that sounds).

Someone once said to me that the best care in the hospital isn't given by the nurses and doctors that do their jobs for just "the money", or the satisfaction of helping others -- but the ones who actually do it because they love doing so. I've always thought that this is a good sentiment to have about any occupation regardless of whether it's healthcare related or not.

I'd like to think that in a few years when I leave bedside practice that I'll still love being that kind of nurse and hopefully be starting grad school with the same sort of mindset.

Valentine's Day always manages to put me in a musical mood regardless of whether I'm celebrating it with someone or not. I'll be listening to this wonderful playlist put out by NPR during my drive home to my mom's. The great part about it wasn't the individual strength of each of the songs, but the unlikely combination of them together. They're good songs to listen to with and without someone else beside you. :)

To all the couples out there that are passing another mile marker this V-Day, congratulations.

And to those that are still searching for that special person, may you have the best of luck finding them. Everyone deserves a great romance at least once in their life.

As for me, I'll be making the yearly trip that day to see my favorite painting, then taking a long walk with this fool. If you happen to see me, smile. I like those.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Yesterday, I made possibly the most ridiculous purchase of my adult life... a fully loaded Aurora m9700 from Alienware.

I'm still in disbelief that I went through with it.

It won't be here until around the 17th, so I'll make another post once it's here in all of it's ridiculous glory. Does anyone else have  a crazy machine like this?

This song is probably the reason I'm going to hate pop music for the next decade. I hate being able to relate in small part to this song. Please read the lyrics below.

Thin Line
Jurassic 5 featuring Nelly Furtado

Yo, this is a lesson in friendship;
The depths of a kinship
What women and men begin with
And then slip
My pen drips as I scribble my thoughts
On thin strips of emotion
A fraction, seduction, attraction
Eruption of passion
Corrupts if a lasted friendship's involved
But love to cross the line
But that's why we built these walls

Hook:
We've been friends for a long time
A very close friend of mine
Love you like you was mine
But respect the thin line
I love you like you was mine
I think about you all the time
Very close friend of mine
But respect the thin line

Opposites attract
When the female and male come in contact
Sticky situation in fact
Tryin' not to let the feelings catch
But there's a thin line between
Both of y'all, so you respect that
And entertain the idea
But get brought back
To reality, and could you really live with that?
Decision, based on intuition
You love and keep your distance
Hug and kiss in friendship

An ongoing kinship
We was people to begin with
Disrespect was not intended
But your feelings sparked the sentence.
Sometimes you're too intense
In your quest to invent
The perfect man, please understand
My rhyme is your repent.

Repeat Hook x 2

Man, too bad that we became friends first
And I'm not an expert on how relationships should work
But, from the minute it was known
It changed the whole tone
The way we spoke on the phone
Yo, it was cool
But I felt it wasn't enough
And I was stuck when your moms would pick it up
Over you, all my buddies would swoon
But I felt we were in tune
You let me up in your room, damn
But to me girl, you're still off limits
No matter all the times that I hinted
Infatuation was authentic
But yo, I just pretended
So I wouldn't lose the friendship
Maybe I should spill all my guts
Or write a letter, then tear it up
Or do a song, just to say what's up
I want, just a touch...

Repeat Hook x 2

I can't do this anymore
See my heart just falls out
When you walk in the door
Friendship turned into lust and this only tip
That I can't comprehend even if I knew it
Can't do justice to these things that I'm feeling
You got someone else
Don't wanna be caught stealing
Hell if she knew, she would never leave us alone
In the room...

This was a lesson in friendship.
I stress in this sentence
Should women and men be friends first?
And then slip?
My pen drips as I scribble my thoughts
n thin strips of devotion

Opposites attract
And best friends make a perfect match
If you only knew that
Once you cross
Ain't no turning back
The minute you let him in it
And he hit that
That's that.

We was people to begin with
But you was too relentless
Jeopardizing kinship, respect is intended
Resolve is my intent
While we got it in
I'm trying to salvage a friendship.

Repeat Hook x 2