6 posts tagged “job”
Wack!
The past couple of weeks have been a fun whirlwind, and frankly it's the happiest I've been since my graduation from college.
My new job is a lot harder than the last, but I feel a sense of fulfillment from it that I didn't get while I was still at that other hospital. Right now, I'm caught in a ridiculous schedule involving lots of day shifts, classes, and competencies -- but regardless of how busy I feel, I'm loving all of it. This is a strangely fuzzy and warm comment -- but I love working with everyone on the unit; it's not perfect, but you can definitely tell that everyone works well together despite it.
Being back at this hospital now makes me realize that while it has it's downsides (but really the only thing I can think of is that I pay for parking), the unit itself really works to make its staff happy. One of the attending physicians (there's a new one every two weeks from a set pool of 4/5), even pays for nurses that wish to take the CCRN to take the exam (a ridiculous $325 if you're not an AACN member) out of her personal pocket. Furthermore, the attendings (with their own personal money) even set up a fund so that someone will teach the nurses the material to pass the exam. Unit culture is nice as well -- most of the doctors are addressed by first names (with the exception of the attending physicians -- but that's understandable) and visa versa. I've got a lot of respect for everyone that I work with -- doctors, nurses, unit secretaries, and care partners alike. I count myself blessed to be a part of their team -- and most of all, I don't doubt the care that any of them would provide a patient. If I have heart disease when I get older -- I would have no qualms about them taking care of me. When you can say that about the people you work with, it means a lot.
I feel like I'm struggling a little bit to remember how to do things. It was hard remembering what the codes were to the doors, which forms to fill out, what resources I had... Then there's the constant bustle of taking patients to scans/tests, doctors constantly asking questions, and learning new techniques on nursing procedures. On my first day taking care of patients, I felt a little overwhelmed with trying to do the things I needed to do (I was a little frustrated with myself for forgetting where some things were in the unit), but I still felt good at the end of the day and I'm excited about going back again. It'll take some time to get acclimated, but I'm looking forward to the challenge.
I'm finally really happy again with my career choice. In the few days I've spent at my new old job (oxymoron, isn't it?) I've gotten to remember why I became a nurse in the first place. I feel like a huge burden's sort of been lifted off of my shoulders since re-realizing those things. And, in doing that I realized this:
There are many different kinds of nurses in many, many different areas of practice -- each has their own value, none more important than the other. But personality wise -- there seem to be only two kinds (well three). There are the nurses that see nursing as a job, and the kind that see nursing as a practice. Everyone has to decide for themselves whether they're going to be a nurse that works just for the money -- or whether you're a nurse that works to change the practice of nursing. The third kind of nurse is a combination of the two, and those are the ones that you typically find (thank God) at academic medical centers where the pay isn't always fabulous, but the nurses are. I think part of the dissonance between me and my former job was that I wasn't the kind of nurse that was in it for the money -- had that really been the kind of nurse I wanted to be; I would've moved back to northern Virginia and taken a job in an academic medical center in DC and get paid almost double what I get paid now. What I wanted was a rewarding experience of having made a difference in someone else's life and in the lives of the people that I work with. There is a big unit culture difference between the two, so my advice to a new graduate nurse that's picking their first job is that when you're making your decision, determine first which of the two you are and then pick your job accordingly -- it'll save you a lot of grief.
Had I been given the opportunity to shadow nurses at my first nursing job, I don't think I would've taken it and I probably would've just waited for an opening at my current job to creep up. Of course, hindsight is always 20/20...
Also, I know that a lot of first jobs in nursing are very discouraging to new graduates. I can't tell you how many times I've reconnected with my old classmates and heard their countless sob stories about their first jobs and how horrible their situations are... and all I can say to that is that if you want to keep your wits, and your love of your job -- just move on. Quit the job you're unhappy with (but at least make sure you're doing it for a legitimate reason) and find a new one that suits you more. Job satisfaction in nursing is what keeps nurses nursing. And always remember, though you may be new -- you never deserve to be shit on. Ever. And if some nurse starts complaining to you about how it's not fair that as a new grad you get treated differently, take the wise advice of Erin T. (one of my favorite former co-workers) and say this: "Just because it was crappy for you back then, doesn't mean it needs to the same way for us. This is a new day, suck it up."
In one month, I'll have been a nurse for one year and I can say that the lessons I've learned in this short amount of time have proven to be priceless information for the path that lies before me. And to this year's new grads -- best of luck on the road ahead; may it be full of good learning experiences and satisfaction.
I love my job.
[Edited] PS: I love the fact that a lot of people at my hospital are young, single, and unmarried. And even more so, I like that Sam Reich's young, single, and unmarried doppleganger sits with me during orientation -- he's perhaps funnier than the original gangster himself, but not an interwebnet guru, instead an internal medicine intern.
Girl, boy, game you should have won, job you should have gotten…tell us about one that got away.
Submitted by Phil.
I should've stayed with my first hospital I was with when I was still a student. Had I held out and waited for a nursing job to open at that hospital I wouldn't have had to take that first job that I hated so much. I spent the past 11 months hating nursing thanks the second hospital I worked at. I'm starting a new job back at the first hospital soon and I couldn't be happier to return. Happy days are here again!
PS: I tried to change my blog to Virginia Tech's school colors, but this was the closest I can find. Show a little bit of hokie spirit in memoriam of those that died.
Wednesday night was my last night at my job, and I'm now making my blog public again. :)
Suffice to say, my last night was great. I liked working with most of the night shift nurses and I think I'll miss them a lot when I start the new job.
Last week I went to an interview at the old hospital that I used to work at. Seeing everyone smiling and greeting me with hugs was great. It made me feel nostalgic for the old days when I was a part of their staff too.
The interview started out with laughs and giggles reminiscing over differences between the health system I work for now (that both the interviewers had also worked in) and had progressed into a more serious difficult question and answer session. They asked me difficult (but relevant) questions such as, "Why do you want to leave your job?" and "Are you afraid of the impact of leaving your job before your first year expires?" I answered everything the best I could, but still felt that there was so much more that I could've said, but it would've gotten emotional.
At the end of the interview, they asked simpler questions and we laughed about my answers. We shook each others hands, and I quietly left the unit, just as I had come in.
When I got in the car, I was a nervous wreck; more nervous than I had been before the interview. I was scared that the interview hadn't gone well, that I'd be stuck at my miserable job until a few more years had expired and I would be a more solid ICU nurse. Somehow the thought of just having to stay in that place added to the terrifying experience of waiting for the results.
A few days had passed since, and yesterday I took the time out to e-mail my old nurse manager to thank her for the interview. I'd talked to one of my old co-workers on the phone about when she got her job offer as a nurse and she said that hers was only two days later. My interview had been last Wednesday... almost four days (discounting the weekend) later and I hadn't heard a thing. Discouraging news. I ended my e-mail to my nurse manager asking her when I should expect news on whether I got the job or not.
I got an e-mail back letting me know that, well, good news was yet to come. I smiled, jumped for joy, and ran naked through my apartment.
Say hello to your newest trauma I ICU nurse. :)
So last night I had a patient that was originally admitted with diabetic ketoacidosis amongst other things (like for instance a pus filled toe that she had previously stubbed). Last night she was having some major breakthrough pain in her foot that was causing her to also have some referred chest tightness. I paged the hospitalist who corrected some of the major errors that the previous hospitalist had made (like for instance, the fact this woman had not been put on an insulin protocol for her insulin drip and that she hadn't been ordered any pain medicine for the pain to her foot and the fact she needed an MRI to that affected toe).
An emergency MRI and an orthopaedic consult later, she was fine -- except for her hourly blood sugar checks, but that was to be expected. I drew labs this morning, and didn't get the results until pretty late (our unit didn't send off labs until about 4:30am). By the time my results had gotten back to me it was past 6am, and I was told that the hospitalist was changing shift. I figured it would be ok to let it slide until the hospitalist came to see the patient this morning because the labs I was calling about were a really low calcium (0.4) and a potassium of 2.5. I made my effort and paged once (which I'd forgotten about) and another nurse had also paged in regards to her patient. It was change of shift and not a word back from the hospitalist -- it was almost expected since they themselves were changing shift around that time as well.
Here I was giving report to poor Erin who had admitted my patient the afternoon before and she was already bombarded with this problem. I felt guilty because the lab values were critically low and she wasn't able to get a hold of the hospitalist even after I had re-paged him during report. To top it all off, she'd be traveling down to x-ray with that patient later in the day -- and this after an orthopaedic surgery consult and a vascular surgery consult. And ps: don't forget the hourly blood sugar checks.
It's always a nurses guilt to leave work hanging for the next person, and this morning I feel guiltier than most because it was leaving work for a friend of mine versus just being another co-worker. I hate the feeling that I didn't finish everything I needed to -- and most of all for leaving her hanging with critical values. The only consolation was that the patient was otherwise feeling fine and had no ectopy. Hopefully the hospitalist will get back to her within the day. I'll have my patient later again tonight (at least this is what I'm assuming), so hopefully it'll at least be easier for her to pass her back to me.
Lesson learned: who cares if the hospitalist gets pissed off -- page however many times you need to. And if they bitch at you -- write them up.
I had another bad night.
I got slapped with two tasky patients, both of which were non-intubated, but one was an admission post-code from a vascular floor. Both were awake, alert, and oriented, but both required being checked on about every 10 minutes for whatever reason. The stress of not being able to keep up with the demands of both; the trying personalities of the patients, and frustration with the other nurses with administration's inability to keep us safe from something one of the patients had was taking a toll on me.
By about 10pm that evening, I needed a serious hug.
If it weren't for Elaine, Joanne, and a short visit from Matt that night -- I would've surely sank. I never had the time that night to thank the three of them properly for the wonderful emotional support they gave me, but they made a difference for me that evening.
I think the thing I miss most about my last job was the people that I worked with. Good employee morale and great teamwork between the nurses goes a long way into how smoothly your night goes. In the case of that last night it was pretty much Elaine that saved me for most of the evening by helping me take care of the tasky guy that was whining about his CBI (continuous bladder irrigation). Even with .05 of fentanyl every two hours, lidocaine cream to his penis, and psychological comforting he was still unhappy. At the end of the night; I was tired, achey, my stomach was cramping -- and still behind by about 2 hours. On top of that -- I wasn't even notified that the patient with the CBI was for *sure* going for a cath in the morning.
I'm sure that if Norma had been there that night, I probably would've got a reaming for being so behind, and then a stick shoved up my ass for not finding out about the other patient going for a cath. Somehow, after the first few weeks I had off of orientation, the clinical coordinator morphed into the beast from hell. There's no encouragement and mercy left from her, and no room left to talk easily about problems I want to address with the management. It's intimidating and frustrating that I can't talk to her about how badly the unit seems to be pushing the new grads -- and how all three of us want to quit because of them.
I think the sad part is that no matter what, I know that this is probably the first of many times that I'll have to suck it up and take it. One of the nurses said to me, while I cried, "Honey, I've had nights like this before and I've sat there crying just like you have -- you'll keep having them, and eventually you just can't cry anymore because you've got nothing left."
I called out the following night. It wasn't because I just couldn't take another night like that, but because that night had taken it out of me. I'm feeling progressively worse (worse as in, my GI symptoms of nausea and pain during eating) these days on top of being stressed from my job. I think this is probably the last thing I need to deal with.
I want to quit my job, and if it weren't so difficult (with the contract, bonuses, repaying the unit for classes I'm taking... etc.), I would... but it doesn't fix the underlying problem on that unit. Matt had once told me that my unit (along with the other cardiovascular intensive care unit next door) was notorious for 'eating their young.' Being where I am now, I agree with that statement wholeheartedly and I can't believe how much crap I got screwed into even after I rescinded my contract. And honestly if it weren't because of Elaine and Joanne (and a few other members of the night and day shifts), I wouldn't be as sane as I am right now.
This definitely goes to show, that your co-workers contribute to a great deal of your happiness in nursing -- if you can't like who you work with, it's best working somewhere else.
